1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
On the weekend, a friend told me she thinks I should be "moving on" - i.e. moving up the ladder at work, rather than getting stuck in a rut at Yandi, a big fish in a little pond. I did put some thought into it - but is there really anything wrong with being a big fish in a little pond? There's plenty to eat, and surely it's better than being a small fish in a big pond!
I started to reflect on the choices I make every day, and how much energy and courage it takes to stay true to them. Remaining in a job that makes me happy, instead of moving on just because it's been two years. Remaining single because I haven't met a guy who fits what I want. Not having children, in spite of everyone in the world telling me it's the "wrong" choice - as if they would even know. Buying a house that others see as "quirky" rather than "perfect". Not going to uni and choosing TAFE instead. Being an administrator instead of a CEO.
Lots of scary choices, and all choices that some of the people around me have cautioned against. All choices that I believe will lead to me not having one of those five regrets on my deathbed.
So far, so good.
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