Thursday, July 17, 2014

tinderriffic

Ever wondered what goes through a girl's mind when she's on Tinder?
  • ugh, shirtless shot, gross - NOPE
  • first photo is you drinking beer and pulling a finger sign? what are you, 20? - NOPE
  • oh look you have a motorbike. and you ride it sometimes. look, there it is again. and again. ummm, do you have a face? oh there it is. - NOPE
  • just one photo. just one? do you think you're so attractive that one single photo is enough to catch my interest? - NOPE
  • oh look you're smiling! you have a nice open face. nice to see your eyes. no profile tho. hmmmm. ok but only because you smiled. - YES
  • naked torso - NOPE
  • naked torso - NOPE
  • photo with bikini babes, seriously? why would that attract me? is it supposed to act like a reference? - NOPE
  • naked torso - NOPE
  • tank top with generic brand like elwood - NOPE
  • four photos, none smiling - NOPE
  • oh another smile! yay! AND a bio! AND you have interests apart from sport and alcohol. i'm actually swooning. - YES
  • bio has snapchat in it - NOPE
  • oh crap i know you, that's awkward. do i say yes? no? have you seen me on here already? eee! panic! - NOPE
  • too lazy to even find a good photo - NOPE
  • ohh look another bio... oh, you like going out with friends AND staying at home sometimes? such an individual. so unique - NOPE
  • bio says you like "awesome chicks" up for a "fun time". honey if all i wanted was an unsatisfying sexual encounter i'd just go to the pub. - NOPE
  • bio says you like the gym. and sport. and keeping fit. i can barely contain my excitement at all the conversations we can have about protein powder. - NOPE
  • naked torso - NOPE
  • naked torso - NOPE
  • bikini babes - NOPE
  • naked torso - NOPE
  • tank top with generic brand like elwood - NOPE
  • OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE
  • ice-cream
I wonder what it's like from the guy's side? I suspect, from the number of unconsummated matches I get, that it's like this:
  • female?  - YES
  • female?  - YES
  • female?  - YES
  • female?  - YES
  • female?  - YES
  • Fake Bill Murray? haha pretty funny - YES
followed by scrolling through your matches for....
  • slut? no. - NOPE
  • slut? no. - NOPE
  • slut? no. - NOPE
  • slut? no. - NOPE
  • slut? no. - NOPE
  • Fake Bill Murray? haha pretty funny - YES
  • OH MY GOD I'LL NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN
  • beer

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

fridge magnet poetry, or "what happens when you reduce the english language to a select few words"

Fridge magnet poetry, in my experience, always comes out sounding either deeply emotional...

shake me to the shadow
only to show me
my weakness

...somehow bitter...

she felt eternity trudge         
                       pound 
                               and fall through her
like drool over a honeyed winter death
aching with his cool beauty, a black symphony of woman worshipping man
but men are delicate and always they run


...dauntingly erotic...

as languid tongues part peach petals
delirious love milk soars frantic
over smooth white skin like summer rain


....or plainly silly...

want tiny gorgeous butt
must eat less chocolate


...perhaps it's just me.

In other news, I made my first ever batch of home made marmalade tonight, with oranges from my friend's tree. Poetry and cooking go together very well...

the little cook makes a sweetly bitter produce
burns it just a touch

Saturday, June 7, 2014

the ass-end of a rabbit

The first time I ate rabbit was in Germany. I was fifteen and on school exchange in Gottingen. We went out to a warm, dark restaurant and I ordered the rabbit because it seemed unusual. It was rump, and it tasted like rump. In fact it tasted exactly like the ass-end of a rabbit and I didn't enjoy it much.

Today I was reading Nigel Slater's Kitchen Diaries cookbook and encountered a recipe for rabbit. Not far from my little house is an Italian grocer, and next door is an Italian butcher. I knew he'd have rabbit - he has everything.

I had all the ingredients for Nigel's recipe: rabbit, tarragon, onion, white wine and cream is added at the end. Then I spoke to the butcher himself, who said you can't go wrong with red wine, tomatoes, garlic and basil.

Never one to choose a single option when there is room for two, I made them both.

Both are fantastic! I quite impressed with myself.

Excuse me, it's dinner time, I must go.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

I love my little life


I found this post title sitting in draft. Apparently I loved my little life too much to take the time to explain what it was I loved. Cute.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

it'll defy all logic

First ride on my new road bike, a Giant Defy 2 (2014). It was SO much easier than kicking along on my old hybrid. Felt like I hardly had to work at all, most of the way.

So...why did it take me the same amount of time to get home, while burning the most calories I have ever burnt, with the highest heart rate I've had since I was in my early 20s??

I don't know! Maybe the sea breeze was harder. Maybe I'm just out of form (it is the first time I have ridden home against the sea breeze this year). Maybe it was because it was so hot. Maybe I pushed myself too hard passing a guy along the freeway - twice! (He took off past me again both times - obviously doesn't like being beaten by a girl. I laughed and figured if he needs to pass me to feel like a big stwong boy then he can have it, because all I was doing was seeing how fast my new bike can go.) I usually pace myself along there but didn't bother today.

I suppose I was also a lot more cautious, given that I was clipped into the pedals. And the ride is far less steady than my old bike.

I think it could also be that I was supporting my own weight most of the way, as opposed to a hybrid when your weight is supported almost fully by the seat.

Anyway, it felt good, and I am confident that once I have had some practise and feel more sure of myself on the bike, I'll be getting to work a lot faster. In spite of the elevated heart rate and calorie burn, it certainly did feel easier the whole way.

So - new bike purchase - happy with it!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

la via scura

There are two paths ahead. (Only two?)

Do you take the path of never knowing?

No.

You step onto the wide, green, sweet smelling path that is lined with flowers and water.

Nourishing, beautiful, wide enough to spread your arms. It ambles away into the distance becoming steadily darker, less certain, leading you slowly towards a jagged cliff face and nowhere to turn back. You know this, but still you move forward, for you can see an exit just up ahead, open and safe and clear.

Past lessons tell you that it will not be so clear by the time you arrive. It will be overgrown, lined with brambles and thorns, branches that scratch at your eyes and heart and whip your legs until they are almost too weak to carry you forward. A hard path to walk. A high price to pay.

But you'll walk it with such strength and love and light in your heart, such jubilation at your bravery and memories so feather-light that you are sure they will lift you through the thorns and sail you into the clouds long enough to heal.

A high price to pay, but the reward awaits you at your death bed; the view from the clouds, looking down on a life that you weren't afraid to live.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

fabric stash

I've made a dress, a skirt and a pair of trousers. Success!
So now I've decided I'm a seamstress and have purchased lots, LOTS of fabric to sew with.

A recent trip to Sydney is responsible for my new stash, with Cabramatta fabric stores being the main contributors.

Trousers/Shorts
From top to bottom
1- floral 3/4 length fitted pants - No pattern yet. Fabric from Cabramatta, Sydney.
2 - Not sure about this one - it' a bit loud...maybe shorts? Fabric from Kelani.
3- shorts (Thurlow, with some alterations maybe) Fabric also from Kelani.
4- long fitted trousers - No pattern yet. Cabramatta fabric, $3 a metre.
5 - long trousers (Thurlow), also Cabramatta, $3 a metre

Skirts
From top to bottom
1- Hard to see, but this has eyelets and pretty embroidery on it. Will need to be lined. Hollyburn skirt. Fabric from Cabramatta at $3.50 a metre.
2- Another Hollyburn, fabric also from Cabramatta at abot $3 a metre.
3- A splurge - Marimekko fabric. Not sure about the pattern...
4- Linen from Cabramatta - $4 a metre. I think a long Hollyburn will show this off.


Dresses
Top fabric from Kelani, bottom one from Marimekko.



Buttons
All from "Button Buttons Buttons" in the Rocks, Sydney.
The left button is gold lustre on black glass, circa 1900.
The next one is also gold lustre on black glass.
The third is metal and the fourth is plastic, but looks like glass.
The others are fabric, and wood.



Exciting!